The Intimacy Lure, Balancing Hormones and the HeadAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, making love brings immense meaning and consequences.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready too).
B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to very hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, love, wellness, and closeness .
When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, says that much of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay men especially in cosmopolitan locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".
North adds, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow in time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you this website have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!