The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the SkullAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings tremendous significance and effects.
Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be good too).
B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in to incredibly difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce Homepage emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and nearness .
But when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They probably would not admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, states that a number of his clients have fallen under the Sex next page Trap.
" For gay men particularly in metropolitan locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".
North adds, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry Web Site is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow in time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!