The Sensuality Trap, Balancing Hormones and the HeadAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings tremendous significance and effects.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:
A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).
B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to incredibly you could check here difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in effective sensations of attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and closeness .
But when issues develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that many of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay men particularly in city areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".
North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow over time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, values, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!