The Sensuality Trap, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the NogginAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries tremendous significance and consequences.
Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:
A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready too).
B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are attracted to exceptionally difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, love, well-being, and closeness .
However when issues arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that a lot of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay males specifically in metropolitan locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".
North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there Source for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it my website can grow in time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!