The Sex Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the HeadAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries immense significance and effects.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:
A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).
B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood reference enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to very tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, love, well-being, and nearness .
When issues occur, those who fall into see this here the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, states that much of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay men especially in city areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".
Nonetheless, North includes, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is crucial. Chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow gradually.
Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!