The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormones and the NogginAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings tremendous meaning and repercussions.
Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:
A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good too).
B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , important site causing effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, nearness, love, and wellness .
When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that many of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For view it now gay men especially in city locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".
North includes, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.
Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal click resources agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, objectives, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!