The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the CraniumAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries tremendous significance and repercussions.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:
A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).
B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the opportunity to make love with somebody we are attracted to exceptionally difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful sensations of destination, excitement, closeness, wellness, and love .
When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay men particularly in urbane locations, sex is readily available, and that check my source in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. Many gay men wish to learn from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".
However, North adds, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot control why not try these out in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow over time.
Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!