The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the BrainAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings tremendous meaning and effects.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:
A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).
B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to extremely tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, wellness, closeness, and love .
But when problems arise, those who fall click site into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that much of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay males specifically in urbane areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".
North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow in time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner see choices by paying complete attention to your vision, worths, goals, and requirements -- click here for more info while feeling all those interesting sparks!